The waterproof plaster on my arm is creasing on my skin and making strange marks. The scar that it covers is what reminds me of the entire saga and I begin to question myself, mostly unsure of the trouble I’ve put myself into again. The kind of trouble that only amplifies my lack of trust for my very own good. Will I relapse again?


I know my way round these things far too well



“Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.” 

— Robert Brault


“Some faint scraps of her dream would get caught on her wall of conciousness, but she couldn’t retrace these fragments back to any coherent narrative. All that remained were small, random images. She slept deeply, and the dreams she did have came from a very deep place. Like fish that live at the bottom of the ocean, most of her dreams weren’t able to float to the surface. Even if they did, the difference in water pressure would force a change in their appearance.”




Triple mushroom chicken soup with spices and herbs


Mixed greens salad, steamed cauliflower, thyme roasted potatoes*, roasted turkey with chestnut stuffing and cranberry sauce, champagne ham* with pineapple puree


White wine (2010)

Roast turkey on the dinner table is as festive as the Lim residence gets this time of year. If I were to turn the festivities a notch lower, it only looks like a more elaborate version of our weekly Sunday dinners because Mum likes doing western on weekends.

We started preparations right after lunch. Soup was impromtu, it was only after we had the double mushroom chicken soup from Cedele that we decided to create our own interpretation of it. Turned out pretty damn good, had seconds and thirds and leftovers the next morning. We pureed the pineapple and did the cranberry sauce, mashed the chestnuts for stuffing and roasted the potatoes and garlic, popped the turkey into the oven, washed the salad greens, mixed in other things and finally steamed the cauliflower. The table was set at 6:30PM and we dug right in.

I hope everyone had a jolly good time this Christmas with their loved ones and a good feast! Happy holidays guys!


It is some time in mid December now and I am cautiously watching the number on my calender app increase each time I wake up in the morning. Seems like there is a positive relationship re the higher the number gets the more anxiety I experience. I closed the final chapter of part 1 of 1Q84 over breakfast this morning and I’m halfway through part 2. Murakami has his way of drawing his readers in with minor details punctuated at the perfect points, I like him.

Met up with different people this week, recounted things I did over the holidays and reminded myself that doing things are always better than when I do nothing at all. On Saturday night I popped into Tessa’s for a bit, stayed around sometime before midnight, we did talking for till Dad came to get me. I hadn’t seen her in months it’s funny how the months slip by without you noticing at all. On Monday I went to the park to cycle for couple hours with ‘group 31’, don’t know what else to call ourselves maybe ‘mahjong club’ as how the whatsapp group is titled. We sat at the food court at Parkway after returning the bikes for a long while laughing and playing cards. I had 2 rolls of popiah and a fruit now everyone knows I always eat fruit. Feel good things about this group of new friends, feel like I didn’t expect anything at all which makes it even better I think. On Tuesday Stef and I caught a 12:50 show for Breaking Dawn and we didn’t feel like Chinatown after so we bought tickets to the Mint Museum of Toys. We did flaily-armed dances in the lift, wouldn’t say I recognised all of the toys and characters but it was still a bunch of fun.


I have been cycling some, running some, swimming some and lifting some with increasing intensities given I spent the earlier half of my holidays feeling like a glob at home and in the office. Body feels ok, maybe better than ok. Unsure if I should address the FAQs I get on Formspring over here, would a post help you guys better?

Next week I think I am seeing more people
Some of which
Are people who always makes things ok when I’m with them

Tuesdays with Morrie

days taken to read it: 2 (months ago)
recommended: most definitely
favourite quotes:

I ate my meals at my little wooden work cubicle and thought nothing of it. [page 43]

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself ot creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” [page 43]

Is this what comes at the end, I wondered? Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another [page 51]

Love is the only rational act [page 52]

He was standing on the tracks, listening to death’s locomotive whistle, and he was very clear about the important things in life [page 65-66]

A meaningful life [page 66]

“The truth is, Mitch,” he said, “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” [page 82]

Without love, we are birds with broken wings [page 92]

I worked because I could control it. I worked because work was sensible and responsive. [page 97]

“What I’m doing now,” he continued, his eyes still closed, “is detaching myself from the experience.”

Dont’ cling to things, because everything is impermanent.

But detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it. [page 103]

“And love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.” [page 133]

“The second wave says, ‘No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.'” [page 180]